Satire

You’re very fortunate to have stumbled upon this article. It means there’s still hope to save you from fake news before it’s too...

I recently endured one of the most grueling financial experiences known to modern man: booking a flight. I’m a frequent traveler, so booking...

Spooky Season has officially blessed our front doorsteps. It’s a time of excitement, when many scramble to put together last-minute costumes, choose from...

Writer's note: This is a satire piece. Please don’t get all worked up.  Given the recent uptick in views and general campus knowledge of...

The second week of the month is upon us, and with it comes Mother’s Day. If you participate, you are probably searching the...

So, I’ve decided to bestow upon myself the responsibility of teaching all potential customers how to properly act at a boba establishment. After reading this guide, you will be able to walk confidently into a shop and make the workers talk about you behind your back with delightful positivity.

How else will you almost run people over on Ring Road? Or nearly scrape another car at intersections? Or nearly smash the back of your car while backing up through seven different spaces, to snag that one parking spot at the very end of the road, without alerting any other drivers by, say, honking or turning your blinkers on?

STEM students are better than all of you. I am better than all of you. Please recognize that so that I feel good about my negative eight hours of sleep and constant state of exhaustion-induced psychosis. 

Of course, with all of these pastimes of a Southern California Halloween comes the ultimate tradition of dressing up as a person you may or may not want to be in real life. Here is my rating on a scale of 1-10 of these festive Halloween outfits. 

While it is true that staying at home and closing non-essential businesses has been vital to slowing the spread of COVID-19, we must...

Like many of my peers, I have trouble saying “no.”

Being a teen girl is hard, I should know, I’ve read “The Fault In Our Stars” by middle aged male author John Green and seen multiple slice of life anime revolving around such characters.