In the 48 years of this school’s existence, we have made breakthrough discoveries, won championships, witnessed history, suffered through tragedies, brought prestige to...
This is just for laughs. The people represented here by no way reflect how the Editorial Board views the candidates running in the current campaign, or the positions they are running for. That aside, elections week is upon us! No doubt we have all seen the stenciled posters, the campaign t-shirts and the occasional free swag to get people to go out and vote. With so many choices, and with so many heated campaigns promising a dramatic and tense election season, we should step back, lighten up and think about which politicians could best fill them.
Things seem to be sailing quite smoothly on our fair campus and sometimes the state of the world is a little too heavy for such an unseasonably warm January. So instead of editorializing something hard-hitting, we’ve chosen to throw our hats in to the whiny college student competition.
Picture a place with no Chinese imports, Eastern-European prostitutes for the taking and fountains of oil in every major shopping center. We don’t know about you, but this sounds like America to us. A brand new, beautiful America. And who better to lead us on than a man who takes “amber waves of grain” to heart so much that he also takes it to his hairdresser?
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