Opinion

There are few things in the world that are as absolutely ludicrous as the veganism culture. Now, not being a huge fan of most “-ism” fads, it’s not a surprise that this last week in news has been one face-palm after another.

Just like every other member of the “Religious Right” in the state, I was nervously awaiting the court’s ruling on whether or not the California ban on same-sex marriage violated the U.S. Constitution. Lo and behold, the liberal judges decided that it was, in fact, OK for the gays to get married. Great. What next? Are the Dems going to allow people to marry animals? Are we all going to be forced to share our beds with furniture? These liberal judges have gone too far with this one.

A few weeks ago, Susan G. Komen for the Cure, a nonprofit organization that helps fund charities aimed at curing breast cancer, made a huge booboo. They cut funding from Planned Parenthood. That’s over $500,000 worth of grants that the womens’ rights organization desperately needs, and it was taken from them for some fishy reasons.

We don’t know if you know this or not, but our school was essentially a hippie commune at one point. Yeah, UC Irvine (the land of bro tanks, $2 boba and dance crews) was full of hippies. As in there used to be a parking lot where you could park your trailer or RV and live there on the cheap. Try doing that now, and enjoy explaining yourself to the impound lot.

Introductions: In this corner! Wearing a red Michael Jordan No. 23 jersey, standing approximately 6 feet and 2 inches tall, and weighing in at 175 pounds, he is the Sultan of Strut, the epitome of swagger. He walks at a pace of 5.5 miles per hour, never sacrificing style; yet somehow he has yet to be inducted into the USA Track & Field Hall of Fame for speed walking. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Charles Jock’s hero, the Pacer of Peltason himself — Swag Maaaaaaaaaaan!

America was still in Vietnam when UC Irvine opened in 1965. Jobs sprung from the dirt along with new housing complexes and turfgrass and thousands were attracted to the palm-treed paradise. War vets, Asian immigrants, Latino immigrants, African-Americans —pretty much everyone flocked to California. Meanwhile, UCI was just a few buildings situated in dry isolation surrounded by miles of dirt and blue sky.

On a beautiful, sunny day in mid-1959, the University of California purchased 1,000 acres – what would eventually become the beautiful University of California, Irvine – from the monopolizing Irvine Company for a hefty price of $1. And it’s all been downhill since then. OK. I joke, but seriously: with this year’s freshman class, the 50th graduating class, I think it may be safe to say that this campus peaked in its mid-20s.

Throughout the last 50 years, the UC Irvine campus has exhibited vast changes. What started out as 1,589 students is now 28,000 students and has a reputation as one of the most distinguished universities in the world. So, what kind of changes has UCI made in the last 50 years?

If employment is supposed to be free of all discrimination (against race, color, gender and so on), then how is it fair that people can be fired from their jobs just because they are pregnant? If a woman is in the final months of her pregnancy, she can be fired or forced to go on leave solely because of the fact that, in a matter of weeks, she will be giving birth.

Our world today seems like a never-ending assault on the senses, perpetrated by multi-million dollar advertising firms and marketing companies intent, at best, on “educating” you about their product in the name of “brand awareness,” and at worst, beating you into sensory submission until you succumb and purchase their product. One would hope that the one safe haven from this relentless multi-media onslaught would be here on campus; you know, the place you and/or your parents are paying tens of thousands of dollars to attend in pursuit of higher education? Unfortunately, one would be wrong.

UC Irvine is a pretty good school, right? Hell, scratch that. We’re great. We’ve got high-ranking programs all around, from biology to engineering to social science, but our greatest strengths lie within our humanities departments. In fact, our graduate program for literary criticism is number 1! All over the board, when it comes to theories on gender studies, literary theory, minority issues, we can generally be said to kick some serious ass.

George Bush hates black people, Congress hates vegetables (but loves pizza!), and Mitt Romney hates poor people. True story. After his recent Florida primary victory over his opponent, Newt “The Angry Pillsbury Doughboy” Gingrich, Romney made a true-to-heart Republican comment, “I’m not concerned about the very poor …” When asked to clarify, he went on to say, “They have a safety net for them.” Brilliant, Romney. Just brilliant. My favorite part is when he says that, in our country, the very poor are doing just as well as the very rich. You know, since the poor have government safety nets, and the rich have … swimming pools filled with gold bullion. I think it’s fair to say that those two groups are evenly matched.