Opinion

Comedian: Writer Doesn't Get the Value of "Comedy Juice College Night"

Oh, it has been an interesting seven years at the top, hasn't it? However, seven years is not a direct reference to the Bush administration's two terms in power, but to Fox News' reign as the number one cable news channel — a title that has absolutely everything to do with the outgoing president and the coverage he received by the so-called "fair and balanced" network. It seems as if Sept. 11 was the push that Fox News needed to get its slimy head completely out of the womb and into the ass of Bush Jr. Ever since, the two entities have enjoyed an effortless, co-dependent and totally platonic romance that went something like this...

The world witnessed twin milestones last year. Barack Obama was elected the first African-American president in the history of the United States and, for the first time, over one-half of the world's population lived in the city.

If all goes according to plan, Elizabeth Watkins will graduate at the end of spring quarter with a degree in studio art. It will have been her fourth year as a transfer student at UC Irvine and her seventh as an undergraduate. Along with her degree, Watkins will also walk off stage with a $6,000 student loan. In many ways, at first glance, she is lucky...

If you drove to a local elementary school, the kids you would be staring at are the first generation of children expected to die at a younger age than their parents. Medical technology is quickly advancing every year, but remains unable to counteract the growth in American waistbands. Rising trends in obesity and a lack of exercise are predicted to decrease the American lifespan.

Interrogations, temporary detainment or warm welcomes. Sometimes you can decide your form of reception, though it often comes down to repressing one identity in favor of another. The selective use of a passport from multiple choices, for those able to obtain more than one, may be a matter of self-identification, depending on the circumstance and the location. For many living in the era of transnational terrorism, the process of traveling has become as much a matter of security as racial profiling. In some places, they are one and the same.

Fox News scores douchebag of the week; United States to begin pursuing foreign policy involving actual diplomacy?

Boxer tries to cheat; internet entrepreneur writes bull castration memoir; internets fraudster gets off, 'cause of "the insanity"; UCSB archeology student discovers pygmy mammoth tusk.

We all get those pesky e-mails at the end of the quarter that remind us to fill out five different faculty evaluations for our professors and teaching assistants. And frankly, a lot of us don't. As a result, a great flurry of e-mails collect in our inbox, many rife with exclamation points reading, "Window Closing!" However, with a couple clicks of the delete button, we continue on our way with final papers and exams. For a moment, imagine that your professors anxiously await your feedback. They're not just pleasantly interested; they are twiddling their thumbs in excited anticipation to read what you write about them. Why, you might ask? Perhaps they are motivated by a personal desire to improve their teaching skills. Now, add the additional motivation of a $10,000 bonus...

Back-stabbing; conniving; manipulative; bitch: We all know the stereotypes of strong and successful women in the workplace. However, what if these so-called "ill-founded" images weren't really that off-point? As young girls in Girl Scouts and then as members of sororities in college, women are taught the importance of sisterhood, solidarity and friendship. Yet, many women in the workplace have been known to put aside these vital lessons in hopes of a pay raise or promotion. It is unfortunate that in the workplace, many women are known to sabotage rather than help fellow female co-workers get ahead.

Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III is full of win; California Legislature full of fail; English bulldogs to get makeover?; Spike.com impales self; American voters finally not full of fail.

Is California the golden paradise it once was? Would the state that at one time had the eighth largest economy in the world be lucky to have just the eighth largest state economy in the United States? Should you even be living here anymore?