Opinion

Meet X. X is a monkey. He is addicted to drugs and his skull has been battered in and crudely stitched up. His arms and legs show signs of self-mutilation, and clumps of hair are missing — all self-mutilation derived from the trauma of being confined, deprived, tormented and treated like disposable laboratory equipment.

Calling BS on Soccer – Dear Everyone at UCI that Pretends They Like Soccer: Just stop. Look, we get it. You did a semester abroad and now you think there is an international element to your personality, and now you totally “get” soccer.

“Eat all you want and still lose weight.” “Magically melt off fat within days.” These are a few of the many taglines weight-loss companies use to target people who have fallen victim of being overcritical of their bodies.

It’s officially that time of year. Knock, knock UC Irvine, once again the latest freshmen flood comes knocking at our door.

Earth Day has passed once again (let’s hope you planted a tree and picked up some litter this Saturday), but that’s no reason for us to get lax on our personal ecology. Saving the Earth is easy, after all. As a species we may be living at the edge of a precipice, but — if the “Go Green!” boosters are to be believed — there are simple things we can each do every day to avoid a cataclysm.

Once more, Facebook is under fire for taking advantage of its users to generate more ad revenue. This time, Facebook is accused of selling your correspondence on their website to advertisers to increase the accuracy of their marketing.

With a simple swipe of a Starbucks gift card, a stressed-out college student temporarily resolves drowsiness by downing a grande caramel macchiato. This daily visit to UC Irvine’s on-campus Starbucks is a mindless and potentially harmful habit.

You may find yourself wondering, “What’s going on in the Middle East?” With everything happening so far away from Southern California, it’s easy to lose track. But what’s happening in Libya is important, along with events in Yemen, Tunisia and of course, Egyp

After the fifth air traffic controller in a month was reported to be asleep on duty, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has set out to issue new scheduling guidelines aimed at reducing fatigue on the job for air traffic controllers.

College students drink to have fun and forget about their problems with no regard to future consequences. Drinking can be used for negative reasons including depression or failing an exam.

When we are young, we are all eventually exposed to the bitter truth about Santa Claus. We imagined the big-bellied Mr. Claus along with his little elves, happily working in the swirly cotton-like snow slopes of the North Pole. Yet, this vivid image we carried as children crumbled with every harsh word of truth.

Compiled by the New University Editorial Board.