What’s all this hullabaloo over chocolate candy morsels? No more than a miraculously executed marketing ruse — that’s what.
In a chain of predictable events, Mars, Incorporated rolled out a makeover for its cast of anthropomorphic M&Ms candy characters. They pat themselves on their backs for their progressiveness. Even Fox News host Tucker Carlson went on a tongue-in-cheek rant because he no longer wants to have a drink with the “less sexy” Green M&M. Cue the fake outrage and subsequent discourse on Twitter over the human traits assigned to some mascot whose only purpose is selling sugar to the masses. Nobody asked for this, and yet it’s all we’re talking about.
That is, until the well of irony runs dry and we simply have no more bandwidth to weigh in on matters of Brown M&M’s frumpy new kitten heels or Orange M&M embracing his generalized anxiety. By this time, the outrage economy will have churned out some other nonsense to dilute consumer intelligence and clog Twitter feeds for the next 48 hours. The news media never disappoints in this regard because, as consumers, we’ve made it so easy. Pearl-clutching might as well be the new national pastime.
One has to give it to Mars for concocting this perfect ploy, which has successfully diverted any unwanted attention from their unethical business practices. Surely the recent class-action lawsuit alleging that Mars’ aiding and abetting of child slave labor doesn’t warrant more scrutiny than the pressing matters of computer-generated footwear. As conservative pundits lament the loss of M&M’s libidinal appeal and liberals miss the joke entirely, corporations get to dodge accountability on the real issues. All the while, we’re reduced to the meme of two Soyjacks screaming and pointing at each other. Is anyone else feeling secondhand embarrassment?
Something’s got to give before everything in front of us becomes one big smokescreen. We play right into the hands of corporations when we signal both our support and contempt for their “more nuanced” M&M character’s personas and their supposed commitment to “increase a sense of belonging for ten million people by 2025,” whatever that’s supposed to mean. Their vague missions and even more shallow means by which they plan to achieve them are mere distractions.
Indeed, this is a rather silly and absurd example. We’re talking about chocolate candy after all. And yet, it epitomizes exactly where we are culturally. Which is to say that meaningful culture is scarce, and these are the scraps we’re left to grapple with. Rather than engage with the latest in visual arts, music, literature or anything that provides valuable discourse, we instead feel inclined to mull and argue over branding and marketing optics. Everything has become commodified, and we’re the agents.
It doesn’t take much to see there is more to this than the usual rhetoric à la “this is the future liberals want.” The stakes are much higher. This is the future corporate stakeholders want. “Woke capitalism” will continue to run rampant while nothing changes and society becomes further alienated.
Eventually we will move on as a collective into some new partisan debate, only to be further divided. Subject matter as trivial as this can only keep the public’s interest for so long, and by the time you read this, Green M&M’s go-go boots will feel like a distant memory. Rest assured, as Super Bowl LVI looms just around the corner, Mars, Incorporated has likely spared no expense for the commercial debut of their new, more inclusive chocolate candies. Get ready to be reminded of this all over again.
Melissa Newell is an Opinion Intern for the winter 2022 quarter. She can be reached at mrnewell@uci.edu.